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THIRTEEN YEARS
It’s been just over thirteen years since I put up this website. I have not monitored it for quite a while and, before I step away again for an extended period, I feel it important to give feedback on correspondence I received over the years. I will also give a little more background on life and times.
Some have called for me to take this site down. They feel it is “disrespectful to God’s anointed”--those anointed being Gilbert Larson, the "apostle", etc. The "God's anointed" doctrine is loosely based on Psalms 105:15 which says; “Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm!” This is Old Testament. Under the new covenant, we are all God's "anointed", not just those claiming a title. In first John, we read; "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things." When persons are exempted, because they have claimed a title for themselves, and are assumed to have special privilege, followers then open themselves to being under Nicolaitan rule.
The site will remain online indefinitely. I feel it is important to have information regarding abuses of the Assembly of the Body of Christ (ABC) available for those who have been enticed into, are currently being enticed into, or will be enticed into the ABC by it's facade of false love. The ABC seems safe at first, but it is not a safe place after the initial "love bomb" explodes.
Love bomb:“the action or practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection, especially in order to influence or manipulate them.”
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Cults know that if they can control your relationships then they can control you. Whether we like it or not we are all profoundly affected by those around us. When you first go to a cult they will practice “love bombing”, where they arrange instant friends for you. It will seem wonderful, how could such a loving group be wrong! But you soon learn that if you ever disagree with them, or ever leave the cult then you will lose all your new “friends”. This unspoken threat influences your actions in the cult. Things that normally would have made you complain will pass by silently because you don’t want to be ostracized. Like in an unhealthy relationship love is turned on and off to control.
https://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html
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If you stumbled on this site, and have not encountered the ABC directly, this information may still be helpful and can help maneuver similar doctrines elsewhere. The ABC is just one of many aberrant churches following similar abusive doctrines. Over the years I have been in contact with many all over the world who have been similarly treated and "eternally judged". The closest other factions to the ABC would be the Jehovah Witness church and Scientology. Both of these perform shunning practices, ex-communication and encourage separation from non-adhering family and friends. The ABC, and other churches, misinterpret Matthew 10:37 which reads; "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he
that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me". The general interpretation being, if family or current friends do not adhere to the doctrine of the ABC specifically and fellowship with them directly, they should be kept at arms length lest they "draw you away".
This site is also a warning to those who remain in the ABC. The same “eternal judgment” passed on me can also be passed on you, or anyone else, at any time, at the whim of a few men who have elected themselves to positions of power. Should it happen to you, you will likely not see it coming and it will feel devastating when it happens, even if you are prepared. This form of spiritual abuse relies on lies and deceptions to guide you to the ambush where you will be treated with indignity and hate by proud men. In my case I was asked to come to a man named Bruce Leonard's house to talk to another man about his potential "blasphemy". I went that day to defend this man but soon found this was a lie to draw me to the ambush. I was instead the target that day based on a total contrived fallacy. Be comforted in this; these people have no authority over your soul. They are "hirelings" and not the shepherd. They are not the voice of the shepherd, and you need not follow them into the thicket, or over a cliff.
For those who question, or fall out of favor with the leadership, an ambush is now an eternal end. The ABC used to discipline for a specified time but now passes "eternal judgments", feeling this is "part of the foundation" talked about in Hebrews. In the past, these tactics ended with a person being made to sit in the back of
the room at meetings or not allowed to speak. At times they would be forbidden to eat with others at any time, in a meeting or at home. Historically, letters were mailed to all but, after it was determined this left a paper trail that could be considered slander, and could be used against the ABC legally, the paper trail of letters stopped. Now only phone calls are made since phone calls can be easily denied. People can be pressured not to speak but letters are proof. I was unaware of this new "eternal" doctrine, until this last ambush! What type of arrogance feels they can pass an “eternal judgment”, forever and ever, on another man? I was a bit flabbergasted that day. But beyond that, how does one man feel they can judge another man in this manner? Is that not wrestling against flesh and blood? My fight is with the doctrine of arrogance that pervades the ABC leadership.
Some have stated to me you cannot “go against the authority of God’s anointed”. Speaking up, they say, about spiritual abuse, is forbidden. This was stated to me many times after this final ambush; but it is simply not true. God is not a respecter of persons. We are all on the same plane. These are mortal men, subject to being carried away with pride and ego. If they exceed their authority, they need not be listened to. These persons, perpetrating these ambushes, have been steeped in Pharasaical doctrine, the very thing Jesus came to condemn. These practices are not in keeping with this admonishment by Peter;
The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.
Many are blind to fact the ABC is really about power, control and the financial enriching of a few who have called themselves apostles, prophets, etc. I was blind to this for many
years and just went along with whatever the leaders decided for my life. When they ruled over others with ego, I accepted this because this is what I knew since childhood. It was the norm. If a man becomes an apostle simply because he gathers a few people in a congealed mass then there are many corporate executives that also qualify. I understand the perspective of those who believe the ABC is the only place God honors. The ABC wrongfully calls itself "The Body". As a result, many blind themselves to the truth of these abusive practices. Much more on what is the true "body of Christ" later in this post.
When the ABC began, it seemed a great and noble mission to me. I was not into staid church services, pews and Sunday School. I hated it. Partially because as I was growing up it seemed we were always "in church". The home Bible study format seemed fresh, exciting, new to me. There was
a lot of joy in those mostly college age persons that showed up in our living room once a week. It seemed the kind of place spoken about in Matthew;
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
What the ABC has now evolved into, since those first days, is far from noble. It is quite distant from those words in Matthew. On the surface it appears to be a place of refuge, a place to learn new things, and indeed there is some fellowship there but over the decades it has proven to be anything but a safe place spiritually. There are those in leadership who spiritually, and emotionally, kill and maim those of whom they disapprove based on their own likes and dislikes. They kill the souls of other all while thinking they are doing God’s service.
If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.
If you are still in the ABC, you are vulnerable to this same treatment at any time. No one is exempt. Lies and deception are the norm. It may not seem like it when there are happy times but if you happen to fall out of favor with
the leadership, you will be painted as one spiritually taken in a “rebellion” or as one who "blasphemed". Simply being perceived as "too questioning" can be perceived as "rebellion" and be cause for an ambush. Disagreeing will have you labeled as a "blasphemer". Any resistance to this injustice will be displayed to others as “proof” you are spiritually deficient and defiant of "God's authority". I know for certain they have painted me to be a "rebel" and a "liar" because of this website. I have provided substantial proof and the information is out there for anyone to discover. This website is here to protect others and I recount my own story as a cautionary tale.
Dominance. Control. These things the unjust seek most of all. And so it is the duty of the just to defy dominance and to challenge control.” Robert Fanney.
Since this was an “eternal judgment” on my soul, let me define that in the most simple terms. Eternal is forever and ever and ever and ever... It is an infinite time period. Judgment, in this instance, is considered to be a divine sentence deemed sent by God. Is there any man alive who can truly pass an “eternal judgment” on another and condemn that person's soul? I hearken back to the words of Matthew;
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.We should not be at war with each other. Our war is instead with the principalities and powers that allow this type pride and destruction to even exist. No one has the authority to eternally judge another man, even if they have assumed for themselves the title of “apostle” or “elder” or “evangelist” or consider themselves to be a “holder of secrets”.
James said it well:
Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?
WOOD, HAY AND STUBBLE
Some have stated revealing the history of the ABC, or my own story, is wrong. Yet, these same people turn a blind eye when this church, which has a long history of hidden abuses, inflicts a vicious and malicious judgment, eternally and for all time, on persons then destroys friendships at will. This is arrogant self righteousness to assume one has this power over another man's soul. Our wrestle is with principalities and powers. Is it unrighteous to indict these lies and expose this erroneous doctrines of abuse? I mention the names of leaders only because it is they who people look to. It is they who teach, enforce and mislead others into thinking they have been given a special power, by God, to spiritually maim and kill. Their deeds, born of puffed up pride, must be exposed as false, and they must be stopped from perpetrating these actions born of self righteous pride. They have no Godly authority to belittle or condemn others in this way and my goal is to unmask the false authority they have assumed.
My fight is not with these persons directly, but instead with the underlying ABC doctrines that afford these men such power over other's souls. These mortal men have simply stepped into a power that has been afforded them by these doctrines. They are really an Oz behind a curtain who have been given levers of power by their followers. We must follow God, not any man.
The doctrines regarding “discipline” were instated into the ABC by my father, Ramon A Haas, when he became entangled in the five-fold ministry doctrine which Derek Prince and al others who began this doctrine eventually rejected. These doctrines require close scrutiny and evaluation. I can assure you, my father was far from perfect, as we all are. Perhaps he was wrong. Only by reviewing history, and giving examples of the outcomes of false accusations, followed by abusive disciplines, can we prevent future tragedy.
I refer again to the words of Timothy. He was not shy about calling out the works of two men who tried, and succeeded, to destroy other’s faith by the wrangling of words turned
to their own devices. That’s not far off what the ABC also does through word wrangling. They too destroy with words.
Remind them of these things, charging them before the Lord not to strive about words to no profit, to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort, who have strayed concerning the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past; and they overthrow the faith of some. Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity.”
But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
The ABC contorts scripture by using what they perceive to be a better interpretation through intense Greek word study. They feel they have the authority to “eternally judge” and condemn anyone they choose simply because they have studied "eternal judgment" and have formed an eternal opinion. That is, in reality, a total lack of the ability to "repent", change one's mind and this view is certainly not backed up by the weightier matters of Justice, Mercy and Faith.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. 24 Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!
Those three weightier things have been supplanted by an intense study of texts, moods, tenses, and supposed mate scriptures. It all looks good on paper, but these practices have narrowed the focus on "judgment" so fine the ability to see "mercy" must always accompany "judgment" is lost. The focus has become so narrowed they are no longer able to see there is a large potential for passing an eternal "false judgment". This narrowed focus has puffed up these men in their ill fated attempt to achieve an unachievable perfect truth. It has spawned an excess of pride in many. We must rely on the living Word of God, as a whole not just the word written on paper with ink. The word of God is written on the heart by the Spirit in ink that does not fade.
You are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read by all men; clearly you are an epistle of Christ, ministered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart. And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
HISTORY
Here is a very abbreviated history primer of the written word. In about the 1500’s Martin Luther, and the Protestants, translated the Bible into German from an existing Greek compilation dating to around the third century A.D. Before this, the Vulgate, written in Latin, was read exclusively by literate men--usually Catholic priests--who then fed selected bits to those who would listen. Education was for the privileged class and not a right of all. Literacy barred many, if not most, from reading the various papers, scrolls and letters that contained the documents one could describe as scripture. These little tidbits from the priests were all they got as they had no ability to read, much less study, the scriptures in their homes. In rural areas literacy was about five percent. This percentage rose to about thirty percent for those living in cities. That meant about seventy percent of the population was illiterate. Hand them a Bible, a Panin's, a Vine's , A Stegenga, a Nestle's, a Strongs. All just firewood. Since nearly all persons were illiterate prior to our modern age, they relied on others to select then read the text to them.
After the Protestant reformation, the printed Bible, as we know it today, was put into the hands of the common man but it contained many fewer books. Gutenberg’s movable type press was not long after perfected and this now allowed for mass distribution of the Bible. As time progressed, and technology and literacy increased, the cost of a printed book became much lower and now the average man or woman
could afford to own a printed Bible and read it anytime they wished, providing they were literate. This, on the surface, appears to be a blessing but, as people began to freely own and read the Bible, they also began to freely form adamant interpretative opinions of the text which led to greater wars over words than previously existed when man relied mostly on oral tradition. Schisms began to form. People began to clump together into cliques of similar minded people. These cliques then formed into denominations, these denominations formed into factions, names were attributed to the cliques. Each then began to choose favored
bits of scripture they could formulate into a doctrinal platform to stand on.One of the works of the flesh is "party arguments". These factious debates formed from much study are party arguments.
The Calvinists brought the study of the Bible to America, from Europe, in about the 1800’s. Soon after, a flurry of books to aid in interpreting the Bible were developed. This led to even more new sects, or factions, within these new denominations, further dividing people.
Fast forward to the 1900’s. The world is at war, twice, and in the midst of all this turmoil some began to create books with the goal
of “cleaning up” or “microscopically interpreting” the Bible. Their goal was to bring the Bible back to it’s original “pure” state by seeking the mind of the original language writers; primarily Greek and Hebrew. A lofty goal because the texts that were considered to be scripture has changed many times over the centuries. Enter people like John Stegenga, Ivan Panin, W.E. Vine, and many others, that created books to define, enumerate, delineate and parse the words of the current Bible. With these modern books, mankind could now look past the surface and make microscopic assessments
of each individual word, phrase, mood, tense, voice, etc. It was now possible to seek God through an intense study of words, instead of by scripture written on the heart by the Spirit. People soon forgot the written texts were only a tiny fraction of a representation of the infinite
God. Infinity is not definable in the span of a human existence and it is folly to think books will guide mankind to a complete truth. It's just not possible.
There would be no ABC, and it’s doctrines, if John Stegenga had not created his book; “The Greek-English Analytical Concordance of the Greek-English New Testament” in 1963. The entire doctrine of the ABC relies on the overuse of this book as a guide. In fact, it has been said to me, by members of the ABC, more than once, the path to salvation could not be found without the use of this book. Really? How is that even possible? Should we feel sorry for those
who predated the formation of this book? 1963! Should we assume they were not able to find the steps to salvation before 1963 and are therefore lost? Not possibly true.
The books unavailable to most earlier generations would include the mass produced printed Bible; which did not exist in an easily obtainable, economical, printed format until about eight hundred years ago. Eight hundred years! There has always
been an oral tradition, and this is how knowledge was passed from one generation to the next. There was no necessity of printing presses and photocopiers throughout most of history. No charts, graphs, notebooks, paper, ball point pens and the like. This all seems too imperfect for our modern mind in this post-industrial age. We feel we must "nail everything down" with our books and anything else just feels incomplete to those
who microscopically examine the Bible and attempt to "discern the mind of God" through intense study. God speaks in a still small voice.
Mankind has operated for most of history without these modern luxuries. Certainly books and scrolls existed, but they were mostly held in synagogues and libraries, etc. A few wealthy might have a few scribe copied scrolls laying around, but that would be a tiny minority. Most early Jewish "Christians" still went to the synagogue to hear a bit of scripture, perhaps some comment on that scripture, then go home. Those who had time, could visit the temple, read the scrolls themselves, and perhaps do a bit of study on the side. The forty hour workweek is a modern contrivance. In days of old, there was much less personal time than we have now. Life itself, eating bathing, making clothing, etc. took many more hours of one's day. If one had a time machine and traveled back just one-thousand years, and talked to someone about having a “Bible Study”, they would have no clue what you were talking about. The scriptures are ancient, the printed mass produced Bible is quite modern and it has changed greatly over time.
The ABC works under the mistaken notion that, if enough people, study enough words out of the Greek text, using John Stegenga’s Analytical Concordance, everyone will see eye to eye, and a perfect
knowledge will be achieved. This is primarily based on an experiment done at Philadelphia Bible College, in Seattle, using the Greek word “Dorea”. The experiment was deemed successful after a single trial with just one word.
It is felt the only way to achieve a proper
foundation is to complete a tedious “word study” many pages long that takes numerous hours to complete. It’s a fanciful notion, and perhaps seems a noble pursuit on the face, but it's not one that works in reality. While I will agree this exposes a person to a great number of select scriptures, performing a study does not equal application to one's life. It is simply tedious and cerebral and does not carry a person forward into the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace,... I can study all I want but, unless I apply those principals to myself, I have done nothing but read.
We all have different DNA, we all come from
different backgrounds, we all have different minds, different outlooks, we are all individual creatures. All of God’s universe is diverse. Even identical twins are not fully identical. The notion that a "word study" will somehow make us all see exactly alike is completely false. In the ABC, those who appear to deviate from the accepted knowledge, even slightly, become suspect. If one is perceived as deviating too far, or asks too many questions, they become spiritually “criminal”
and are dealt with harshly. An ambush may even await these persons. Love, the ultimate command, ceases. There are many in the ABC with varying viewpoints, on many doctrines, but they muzzle themselves so they can appear to fit in as one of
the “accepted”. But God created us as diverse creatures and to see with a single eye is just not possible.
James tells us ...the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
TRUE WISDOM
The true wisdom of God brings peace and safety and must be approached with absolute humility. God is in the heavens forever, we are on earth but a short time. Truth and judgment comes not from any man, or book, but from God alone through the Spirit. Truth, in mankind's perception, is entirely nebulous. The most powerful words in the universe should be “I don’t know”. As much as we think we know, we are all truly ignorant of most things, in a universal sense. Books are nice, I love books, I have many books, but, you won’t find God confined in any book or study.
Seek the Lord, all you meek of the earth, who have upheld His justice. Seek righteousness, seek humility.
The men who condemn me represent their own authority, not a God-given authority. I did not, and will not, bow to these men’s assumed authority to eternally judge my soul. These are men who should understand true “eternal judgment” of God is fraught with mercy and not condemnation. This has completely escaped them since their view and mind has become so narrowed. Following a narrow path does not mean one must have a narrow mind.
So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
These are men who have studied “Eternal Judgment”, for decades, in both Greek and English, yet despite these years of study they still know nothing of the mercy that must always accompany true eternal judgment. They have lost sight of the beauty of truth and see only complexity.
If they wish to pass their own version of judgment, God still has the upper hand. God's mercy always triumphs over their false judgment. Even if I were guilty of the spiritual crime of blasphemy, as they allege, God's mercy would still triumph over their judgment. Always and forever. This is the propitiation they freely speak about, but do not understand. This is why Andy Atwell, considered to be the "Evangelist", can one week "prophesy" God saved my life in the accident because I had a message to give all, then just weeks later "testify" I am a "blasphemer" worthy of eternal judgment and eternal condemnation. Here is what James had to say about that;
Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Like those two men Matthew spoke about, these men also wrangle words to fit into a narrowed microscopic view. They are forgetting they represent the God of an expansive, infinite universe and not themselves. They have chosen to follow after ego rather than humility; not understanding they too can be prone to misinterpretation and error. They believe, wrongly, they have a perfect understanding of God’s judgment because they have become skilled at the study of Greek words out of a book produced in 1963. How else could they justify accusing a man, without allowing that man to even speak, explain or defend? Their justification of this view is from Timothy's advice;
Do not entertain an accusation against an elder, except on the testimony of two or three witnesses.
This is most likely derived from a precept of the old law in Deuteronomy;
On the testimony of two or three witnesses a man shall be put to death, but he shall not be executed on the testimony of a lone witness.
It was stated at the ambush two elders were of the opinion my one sentence was blasphemy, therefore irrefutable, so, thus, I could not speak in my own defense. However, one of the elders put forward as a witness of my blasphemy was not present at that meeting but instead heard the complaint secondhand from a woman who took offense at my statement.
A faithful witness does not lie, But a false witness will utter lies. PS. 14
Even worldly judges are not this callous. The understanding of truth is vast and unattainable in our lifetime and we must have the humility to understand we will never fully grasp truth. Ever.
But the validity of my "blasphemy" is not really the issue here, is it? That complaint was just the opportunity used by Bruce Leonard and Gilbert Larson to put me away and I was actually ambushed for several reasons. I was told, by a reputable source, one of the main reasons is that Bruce Leonard and Gilbert Larson felt my befriending of a man who questioned
too much was a threat to the church. This man questioned the status quo, that’s for sure, but he was indeed my friend. I welcomed his questions. Who’s to say his questions were not important ones? Even if they weren't important, his questions posed no danger to God or man, they were simply questions. I assure you, I was not the only one who enjoyed this man's questioning of the status quo. I just didn't visibly hide my enjoyment of his questioning as others did. Some feared retribution, or potential ambush on themselves, if they too befriended this man so they hid their friendship. The first stone of our foundation, just past the cornerstone, is Repentance; change. This man's questions should have been welcomed as a potential catalyst for necessary change, a ridding of those things that were perhaps wood, hay, stubble. A refining. He was still considered a "babe" so his words were considered "childish babble", even though his questions were considered a threat to the status quo and leadership. As a result, he was in every way minimized.
The adamant, intense, microscopic study of words, tenses, moods, and the like, have blinded many to the beauty of God’s simple truths. The truth of God is simple, easily understood and easily passed from generation to generation, without intensity. If I want to pass a driving test, I read the manual handed to me by the DMV. I don't need to go to a law library to read the codes and ordinances to pass the test. That would be silly. It is this legalistic, and microscopic, "drilling down" to ever finer points that has eliminated the simplicity of God and Christ. It has puffed up individuals in knowledge and brought about such ugly behaviors at their hands.
But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
Those who seek complex knowledge over truth are like those who are ever learning, but never able to come to a knowledge of truth. I didn’t say that, and that’s not just a partial quote from Timothy’s second letter, Solomon also said this centuries before, at the end of his book of Ecclesiastes.
A SIMPLE EXERCISE
I ask now that you to do a simple little exercise. I promise there is only one exercise in my post, and it goes really quick. Draw a large T on a page. Label one side: “KNOW”, then label the other side: “BELIEVE”. Write examples of things you absolutely, and irrefutably, “know” on one side of the T. Write examples of things you “believe” on the other. Here’s the basic rule though. You only “know” something if you can definitively prove it, with absolute concrete evidence, not found in a book. Books are fallible. You cannot “know” something if you just read it in a book then believe it to be true. Even if you think you know for certain what you read is true, it is still just a belief and needs to go in the “BELIEVE” column.
So how much do you “know” for sure? If you were honest, most of your list is in the “believe” column and your “know” column will be quite meager. There is nothing wrong with “beliefs” but most of what we think we know are really just beliefs. Beliefs are what shape our lives, they make us the person we are, for good or for bad, and we must rely on our beliefs because we have so little we actually "know".
This is why repentance is the first part of any foundation. We must also be willing to abandon any belief when we discover it is no longer true. When we wrongly place too much trust in “beliefs”, and consider these as things we "know", we run the risk of becoming non-repentant,
hard-hearted, and adamant about things we can’t necessarily prove. Words, no matter how fine of a point we put on them, are most times nebulous and prone to error. Grab a dictionary, select a few words at random, then see how many have greatly alternate meanings. If one puts their trust in John Stegenga’s book alone, no matter how perfect it seems, they have misplaced their trust into a fallible man's ink on paper and removed it from the enlightenment of the Spirit.
No matter how fine the sentence, paragraph or prose, words can be easily misconstrued, even when taken in context. Words are, at their core, simply a code we use to express our thoughts. However each of us, in our diverse minds, decipher this code differently from any other person walking this earth. This makes the conveyance of thoughts and ideas a mine field.
I can “believe” anything I want but I cannot “know” it, and be adamant about it, unless there is irrefutable evidence of it’s truth not transmitted by language. This difference between "truth" and "belief" is partly what is referred to in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians;
Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
Our “truths” and our “beliefs” will all someday "burn". Only truth will remain. We all have false beliefs. Every single one of us. Some have more truth decorating their house than beliefs, but that's OK. It is why we must be humble, open to change and be willing to throw out those things furnishing our soul that would burn. I used to know a man that said quite often “A devotion to the truth begins by doubting what has been assumed in the past.” So true.
For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
WE ARE BUT DUST
We are but dust, in the universal sense, and must not think too highly of ourselves. If someone has a tape of the teaching I gave just two weeks before the day I was ambushed, you will hear
me saying these exact same things that night, all those many years ago. This has been my message for many years, but it does not sit well with persons devoted to ego and microscopes. In fact, that specific teaching was on how the tongue, our words, will betray us. This is why God looks on our heart instead. To judge a man by our own interpretation of words is far beyond any man's authority.
The endless pursuit of linear knowledge is a trap. Mankind loves straight lines, but not a single one of us was created in an identical cookie cutter mold. Truth never comes from just one perspective. Truth is found only in diverse and varying perspectives.
We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know.
No amount of study in English, Greek, Hebrew or any other language will bring us any closer to the “know” column. We can "know" God only because the evidence of God is written in everything we see or touch in the universe. Every particle of our universe is filled with God. That can even be proven scientifically. Once we move past "God is" we are in our "belief" column and enter uncertainty. Even if we believe we can definitively prove something through much study, we can never actually know it. We must continue to seek, even though we will never fully find.
"Understanding and believing are not the same thing."
Gertrude Stein
We dishonor the true “Body of Christ”, when
we believe it is a congealed mass of replicated identical cells. The true body is a set of diverse structures, scattered about the entire globe, and only the Lord knows those that are his. No man knows who belongs to God, so no man can judge or condemn another man. I will spend my entire life having never seen my liver, yet I couldn't live without it. Such is the body of Christ.
The ABC is appealing, to some, because the human psyche desires to feel special and unique. The ABC offers this illusion of being "special and unique" as the dangled carrot to draw in the unwary with false love. It promises to share in secrets, but only if one first comes under their banner of false unity. This massing together, in an assumed lock step, dishonors the diversity God created for his body and forms it instead into a cancerous destructive mass. For those who love Greek, it is the word ganglion (anything gathered into a ball) and is partly where we derive the word "gang" in English.
The ABC is just one more gang, one more faction, built upon a doctrinal construct, born from a previous faction, based on a doctrinal construct, which was itself was based on a previous faction, and on and on down through history. There is nothing new under the sun. The Corinthians were chastised by Paul for this very reason.
Now in giving these instructions I do not praise you, since you come together not for the better but for the worse. For first of all, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you, and in part I believe it. For there must also be factions among you, that those who are approved may be recognized among you..
This matter of having to be "one of the approved" to be accepted plagues the ABC. To be "one of the approved" one must assume a singular view of established doctrine set down by the leadership. To question is perceived as a spiritual "death sentence" so most question privately or in whispered tones, not sure who they can trust.
Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,”
A MORE PERFECT KNOWLEDGE
In biology, cells that form a liver can never replace the cells of the heart, or vice versa. They are foreign to each other, even toxic to each other if knitted together. Yet, without each other, as separated entities, the body would become sick. Using books to bring everyone into the exact same linear thinking, the ganging together under one singular banner, sounds good, but is not spiritually healthy in the long term. God makes trees, which spread their branches in a non-uniform, non-duplicated pattern. Seeds are sown by wind and fowl but no one instructs the pattern. Man makes buildings from duplicated straight lines on a written page, in an established place, that then require regular maintenance to maintain any hope of longevity. Which type of structure is the ABC?
The ABC wants ownership of men’s souls. If one permits themselves to be baptized “into the ABC”, they are then taken captive. If one tries to go elsewhere, they
are viewed as having “left the body” and are now “out of God’s will”. That is captivity. Viewing a person who has left "the body" as “out of God’s favor” is wrong. To believe
the ABC, limited to a very small part of North America, is the entire body is misguided. More than one person has said to me they have gone elsewhere throughout the world and could not find single other person who was "in the body". I can think of only one person who ever came to the ABC that has been accepted as "part of the body" without being baptized "into the ABC". We must agree the path to life is narrow, but our focus should never be. Only the Lord knows those who are his. If we look at the outward appearance then we do not judge the heart. We must look at the fruit but also remember fruit has it's season. Even a dormant tree in it's winter is considered fruitful. Only God can judge the heart. To view a person who does not see exactly eye to eye as deficient, is egotistical. To feel the leaders, or anyone else, have the power of spiritual life and death in their hands, is arrogant.
And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
I would also add that For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.
I will repeat this concept until the day I die. Those few words carry more weight than all the study books in the world. God is a God of mercy. His true foundation
is sealed with justice, mercy and faithfulness. This is true righteousness.
Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed.
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; Mercy and truth go before Your face.
The ways of God are gentle, simple, not complex. God may be complex, and there are certainly a lot of scientists attempting to figure out God’s complex infinite universe; but there is no test for us on the complexity of God. We don’t need to understand Him perfectly, and are incapable of such knowledge.
ROD AND STAFF
I have heard it said a leader has a rod and a staff and must use both to shepherd the sheep. The rod was meant as a defense weapon against predators, not for use on the sheep. The staff was used to pull the chin of a sheep upward which would then bring comfort to the sheep and allow it to be gently and peacefully guided back to the flock. If we are as one herding sheep, we are but a hireling, and are not the shepherd. There is only one true shepherd. I have yet to see an example of a shepherd, or a hireling, use a rod to beat sheep into submission. Herding sheep is a quiet, kind and gentle process and one can expect their will be a lot of bleating in the process. When you beat sheep they run away, become lost, get tangled in thickets, fall off cliffs, get eaten by wolves, die. It is then the hireling who takes responsibility for this loss, not the sheep. If you are in a position to guide sheep, as a hireling, be cautious, be very gentle, you are responsible for any shed blood.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye
which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.
ANSWERS
When something as heinous as this ambush occurs in one’s life, it drives you to seek answers. I can only seek answers by looking back at my own life. I must shine a light on my personal experiences then use these things as examples. My goal is to aid those who are also bruised or beaten and question the validity of ABC doctrines. Certainly not all ABC doctrines are bad. Not all of their practices are bad. There is good fellowship to be had, at times, in the ABC but that slope can also become very treacherous and slippery if one does not conform. There are underlying doctrines that undermine the safety of the entire structure and spoil the whole.
Some feel I was just trying to "start my own church”. That is quite far from the truth. First, I did not leave; I was ambushed, "eternally judged", condemned by men as a "blasphemer". I was just minding my own business when I, like Joseph, was thrown into a pit and left for dead. Phone calls were then made telling people I had been shunned and ex-communicated and had been "eternally judged", forever and ever.
Second, I have no desire to start a church as there is no external church to start. The temple of God, the Kingdom of God, is within us. It is not an external structure, real or virtual, building or living room. After some assistance laying down a foundation, which can actually be done quite quickly, we are to then build our own temple and furnish it as we see fit. Preferably only with valuable items that will not burn, but no one has ever reached that level of perfection. There's a bit of wood, hay and stubble in each of us. Wherever a few can gather, in a home, building, park, forest..., that is fellowship. But we worship God in the temple that is within us. Worship and fellowship are not equivalent.
I anticipated I would be called a liar, despite providing more than ample evidence of what I have written. Assailing, and discrediting, a person’s character has been the ABC chosen route of putting up a false defense from the beginning. To be fully discredited is exactly what I would expect. What I hadn’t anticipated was the expletive laden hostilities I would eventually receive. This was a huge surprise and only solidifies the view that the ABC has an undercurrent of hate.
After I put up this site, some ex-ABC’ers commented about the abuses they too had suffered, even back into their childhood. Most did so anonymously, and this speaks volumes regarding the widespread fear that remains, even long after a person leaves. If there were perfect love in the ABC, this fear would not exist. These fear-based doctrines are, of themselves, tell-tale signs of an aberrant church or abusive cult.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
___
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
I have underlined a section of text above because it was this concept; that Jesus came to earth in the flesh, as human; that is precisely the concept the leaders of the ABC considered to be “blasphemy”. John states emphatically, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.
So, I must ask. Was my statement “blasphemy”, or is the ABC part of the antichrist as is stated here? They decried my statement Jesus came in the flesh, alleging it instead to be blasphemy. They disagreed Jesus was subject to obeying his parents, just as any other child would be. They disagreed he had caused them great difficulty and needed to obey them as any other child would. Are they then denying Christ came in the flesh? If this is the case; stating Jesus did not come in the flesh; does this not mean, per this scripture, they are “not of God” and are instead “part of the spirit of the Antichrist”? Is this then not actually “blasphemy” on their part? Is this not, using the same measure they used with me, something for which they should actually be "eternally judged?
For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
This is why we should not be so quick to judge each other's words. I believe they have become confused by peering through their proverbial microscope as they look for splinters in other person’s eyes.
“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward
From what I have heard, from more than a few, I allegedly just had a doctrinal disagreement with Bruce Leonard and Gilbert Larson, got my nose bent out of shape, then left in a huff. I have been told I should "just get over it." and return to "accept my discipline". Really? Is that really the mind of Christ? The Christ who came to set us free and provide us comfort. The Christ who became our propitiation?
I have been told when people ask about me they are told I am just a bitter person who had a problem with my dad and couldn't get over it. I do have issues with the aberrant and abusive doctrines my dad left behind. I do have a problem with the aberrant church he created. I do have a problem with his legacy of spiritually abusive doctrines that diminish peace and love within the walls of the church he built. What
my dad created affected my life greatly, as I will illuminate later.
As far as having trouble with my dad on a personal level? No. It is he
who disowned me. I never disowned him. For those who say to me, it all seems fine right now, I cannot disagree. The annihilation periods are sporadic, random and usually geographic. In between is a false sense of peace and safety. My warning to all is this. Ambushes happen suddenly and without warning. Beware.
DISOWNED
My dad was not suited for the task of creating a new church built on peace and safety. That is plainly evident based on the way he treated his own family. Just prior to the Wilcrest days, my dad was expelled from his job, expelled from the Broadway Tabernacle church and expelled from Philadelphia Bible College because of the way he abandoned his family. The fruit of his planting is not sweet, but is instead bitter, harsh and an unsafe place spiritually. My vocalizations about the trail of destruction left behind by his new church are just one of the reasons my dad disowned me completely. There are many other things much more egregious. We had many conversations about these things. I felt some compassion for my dad at the start. He had been through the war, piloting landing craft full of soldiers onto the Pacific beaches and came back psychically damaged. He had the same recurring PTSD nightmare for quite a number of years beyond the war. In the middle of his service, during the war, he had been sent to a New Zealand hospital to recover from "battle shock", which we now call PTSD and when he returned from the war he sought comfort in religion. I was not yet born when he first went to seminary but by the time I was five his intense drive to be a religious leader had driven us straight into ramshackle abject poverty living on government commodities and the charity of others. Work was sporadic for my dad then and in the pre-Johnson Great Society era there were few safety nets. I knew nothing else but poverty and those were actually some of the best years of my life. I still look back at those Noti years fondly. Things dramatically changed after we moved to Seattle and religion now completely enveloped my dad's life.
I sought a love from my dad he was not capable of showing. He did not truly want me in his life to a large degree but, in a bit of a conundrum, he wanted complete control of my life, well into my adulthood. There is plain evidence of this in court records and my life history, which I will illuminate a little more later. I remained faithful
to his vision, as long as I could, but in the end it was to my detriment. He disowned me with no valid cause. I don’t completely understand why he disowned me, but I have my suspicions. He always chose building his church over nurturing his family. That carries with it a lifetime of hurt. He went from creating a dysfunctional family to creating a dysfunctional church which then, after his death, is now leaving behind a dysfunctional legacy.
My staying away; despite the fact that I was eternally and forever judged as deficient; is not just about one ambush meeting at Bruce Leonard’s house after which I then chose to “rebel”. After the ambush, people from the ABC began showing up at my front door, or calling me on the phone, at all hours, to either interrogate or condemn me. I was called by one person who stood at my door "a stain on the Body of Christ". Some mailed letters. Some felt the “judgment” was harsh, but also felt, “for the sake of unity”, I should “just do what the leaders say, even if it’s wrong”. That’s a pretty standard line in the ABC; the underlying premise being that one must submit to any treatment from the “anointed”, even if it is severely abusive and false. The goal being to maintain the facade of peace, “for the sake of the babes”. A few contacted me to tell me I needed to “repent” from whatever it was I had done, even though it was quite clear these people didn’t even know what I had been accused of. They only assumed it must have been bad since the “leaders” had told them it was. That's having blind faith in man, not God and truth.That is not what it means to be a sheep. The sheep know the voice of the true shepherd, and only the true shepherd truly cares about the sheep. Hirelings have no personal stake and can’t always be trusted. One should not follow a hireling if they intend to lead you over a cliff, or leave you to the wolves.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.
I was accused, and “eternally judged”, then condemned, for something I had not even said by those who feel they are hirelings. That
made it a bit difficult to “change my mind”. There were some who contacted me that didn’t seem to understand I had been “eternally judged” and condemned, forever and ever, at the ambush. I was told, at the ambush, by Bruce Leonard, that per instructions from Gilbert Larson I could not speak or defend myself, or give any explanation or clarification of my words or thoughts, because two elders had witnessed my alleged “blasphemy” and I was therefore eternally cursed with a curse. It was irreversible for all of eternity . You know, the eternity that is like forever and ever and ever and ev... Forever! I can only say it again. What arrogance.
Those who contacted me with sympathy, and felt I had been unfairly accused, found themselves threatened by Bruce Leonard, Gilbert Larson, David North, Andy Atwell, et al. and were told,
in very certain terms, if they associated with me in any way they would be considered “out of the body” and would suffer the same fate of endless harassment I was now being subjected to. In ABC speak, what they
were offered was, in effect, a perceived spiritual death sentence. They knew they too would also lose all of their “friends” overnight. Most became fearful to speak to me and, twice, I ran into some of these people
in a store. They got looks of terror on their face and quite literally turned and ran away so they wouldn’t be “cursed” by speaking to me. It’s ridiculous, superstitious nonsense and evidence of the blind faith people put in the word of these men instead of the Word of God. To quote the founder of the ABC; condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance. The unspoken part of that is; but don't investigate too much or you too will suffer the same fate. It is why people in the Vancouver area were being called "Brucetians", It was Bruce Leonard they served.
I was invited to dinner at one couple’s house and went thinking it was to be a pleasant dinner with old friends. These were people with whom I had been very close friends prior to the ambush. I found out too late I was not invited over for grilled chicken. I was instead the one to be grilled. This couple wanted to know what I had done to have been put on the "shunned" list. I recounted the statement in question but they insisted that couldn’t possibly be the reason. As I kept repeating the same explanation, I kept hearing back the same “no, that can’t be why, there has to be more to it than that”. But, nope, that was it. My true statement that Christ came in the flesh, was obliged to obey his parents as a young child and was subject to the flesh, until his resurrection, was my alleged “blasphemy”.
Some began contacting my wife, secretly, to persuade her I was some sort of spiritually bad dude and she needed to return to the ABC without me. The harassment had first started out blatant, and had now
become secret. But it was always incessant, intense and it took an immense physical and emotional toll. I have been on the other side of this. I know how this harassment finally wears out a person. It is how some animals subdue their prey. The leaders, acting like wild beasts, use this to their advantage to maim and kill. They point to the person and allege this
difficulty is because the person is “in sin” and “unrepentant", and not because the person has been spiritually abused and systematically beaten down through torments. I repeat what I said before, this can happen to anyone.
Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
Someone even called my doctors office, leading them to believe I was having "delusions", and believed "the kingdom of God was after me”. I had threatened a lawsuit against the ABC to end the harassment and assume this was done so I would not be believed if I tried to make a complaint about the harassment. I learned about this phone call when I went to see my doctor about a chronic ear issue. Having never once mentioned the ABC to my doctor, or having not even seen the doctor since day of the ambush, I suddenly found myself accused by my doctor of having delusions and believed the ABC, and it's leaders, were a real entity when they were actually just figments of my imagination.
Whoever made this phone call to my doctor's office led them to believe I was homeless, when I wasn't. Tried to tell them I had job problems, which I didn't. Tried to make them believe I was deluded and believed the ABC was a real entity when it was really just a figment of my imagination. It's real and registered as a corporation in Washington State.
They led my doctor to believe Bruce Leonard, Gilbert Larson, Andy Atwell et al, were just fictitious people and all a part of my "delusion". I was mystified when I was held in an exam room, with a nurse standing at the door to make sure I didn't leave. My doctor returned with prescriptions for anti-psychotic medications and made a referral to a psychiatrist who could help me “mange my delusions” about the “Kingdom of God” being after me.
I eventually pulled my medical records from Kaiser, to see what was written about this visit and this is when I discovered evidence of this malicious phone call made by someone in the ABC. Whoever made this call told a series of lies about me I could firmly document in writing as not true. I consulted an attorney, gathered substantial proof of the ABC’s existence, substantial proof the leaders; Bruce Leonard, Gilbert Larson, Andy Atwell, et al were actual living persons and not delusions. I gathered proof I was not homeless, was not having job problems, etc. and turned all of this proof over to two government agencies and a medical review board at Kaiser. I sent copies of all of this documentation to Gilbert Larson so he would know how malicious this attack was on my person. I let him know it might become necessary to get depositions from leaders of the ABC to prove they were real people. It took years to work through the governmental and Kaiser bureaucracy. It caused me great difficulty in the interim. Imagine if every time you walked into your doctor's office you were labeled as being "psychotic" and "delusional" because someone from your dad's church called and lied about you. Suddenly everything you say is taken in the light of someone with "psychotic delusions" who thinks they are being "chased by the Kingdom of God". This was a malicious ploy by someone in the ABC. I have no doubt they think by messing with my life in such a way they are doing God service. It's one-hundred percent shameful.
The stress on my life, after the ambush, reached the point I did have to leave my job, abandon any pension, sell the house I had just bought at a great loss, then move to where people could no longer find me. It was the only way to end the harassment. The financial toll was huge; the sudden loss of so many “friends” just as great. I take full responsibility for not being strong enough to battle back against the injustice of this ambush, and subsequent harassment, however, it was equivalent to being physically beat to a pulp, then having someone say, as I lay beaten and bloody on the pavement, “see, we were right all along, there must have been something wrong with him. All he can do is lay there and bleed.” These are sick abusive practice by the ABC, it has gone on for too many decades, and I hope this website can make this practice end.
So, to those who wrote me and felt this was just a small disagreement over doctrine; this was not just a small disagreement over a doctrinal point. This was an ongoing and malicious attack against my entire life and person. It is not something I initiated.
I was sitting at home minding my own business when Mark Pedersen and Andy Atwell contacted me but refused to enter my home; presumably due to a fear they would “participate in my sin” if they entered my house and asked me to meet them at the
IHOP instead. It is a common superstition, among members of the ABC, that if you associate with a person “taken in a sin”, as they assumed I was, you will become oppressed and need anointing to “rid yourself of
that oppression”. That's nonsense. These same people will then teach about having the "armor of God" as protection against oppression. This notion of not entering a home is drawn from this bit of text in Second John.
For many deceivers have gone out into the world who do not confess Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist. Look to yourselves, that we do not lose those things we worked for, but that we may receive a full reward.
Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds.
I must point out the ones we are not to receive or greet are those who deny Christ came in the flesh. My alleged blasphemy was to state that Christ did come in the flesh and this was a true statement. "Nuf said".
MY OWN EXPERIENCES AND RED FLAGS
While I have personally witnessed a great deal of abuse of others, I am only able to truly judge the validity of the ABC by my own experiences. I ignored many, many red flags in my life starting when I was about age twelve. I list below just a few of my experiences, but this is, for certain, just a very tiny sample of the "red flag" list. I ignored these red flags; first out of youthful ignorance, then later through polarized glasses that masked the glaring errors, to maintain a false sense of peace and safety in my life.
My dad started this abusive church. I was there in the beginning when he tried, and failed, to start this church on San Juan Island. I feel a personal responsibility to share what I know about the evolving of this church. I feel it is important to share the outcome of letting others rule over my life to the extent I did. I posted this website because these things have happened to many others, not just to me, and these things will continue to happen to even more unless these practices are exposed and stopped. People need to understand these abusive doctrines exist in the ABC and it is imperative to guard against them if one chooses to remain tied to the ABC.
I had been taught, from a very young age, I must submit to whatever abuse is laid at my feet by the ABC, because they “speak for God” as my "mother". I was taught I must go along, and stay quiet, “for
the sake of unity” or to “protect the babes”. I was wrong to do so. My silence was yellow, not golden. I have worked on my courage and do my best now not to live within a yellow silence. That is not always easy. Jesus called out the
“word wrangling” scribes and abusive Pharisees by calling them vipers. I too call out the ABC as being a school of Pharasaical thinking and word wrangling. There are those in the ABC who lay in wait as vipers.
If
something smells like a snake and slithers like a snake — it’s
definitely a snake, no matter how much sheepskin clothing it pretends to
wear. Lena Ann
From the day my dad slammed me into that wall on San Juan Island as a child, then pushed my mom and I to the street homeless so he could start a new church in Seattle without us, I should
have known all was not right. I actually did, but I was very young and had already stuffed a lot of the emotions from having lived in the war zone that was our home. This was just one more thing to stuff. It takes two to tango. My mom shares more than equal blame
for the war that existed in our home, but it was, indeed, often a war zone. Except for church day. On that day we were a very happy family. Red flag.
My mom and I lived homeless, for several months, before my grandmother and great uncle rescued us. During this time my dad never wrote, visited, called or would accept a collect call from me.
He defied the court order to support me, and refused to pay a single dime to assure I was housed and fed. I should have known then all was not right. My health suffered greatly and I was going to regular weekly doctor visits trying to determine the cause. The doctor, sensing something was amiss in my home life, had begun asking the typical "child abuse" questions. It was not long after that, I ran away from my mom's house, ended up at my dad's house and avoided the inevitable foster care. Red flag.
When I ended up at my dad’s house, a little over one year after his abandoning me on the island, his first words were to express how displeased he was that I would now live in his house. Red flag.
When I learned my dad had, on my birthday, one year earlier, married the woman with whom he had been having an adulterous affair, but did not have the decency to write me, call me or visit me, as his son, to even share this news...I should have known all was not right. Red flag.
When my dad told me I was to refer to stepmother only as my natural mother, because the members of his new Bible study in our living room would not understand his
divorce...I should have known all was not right. Red flag.
When my grades suffered, because my dad had turned my life completely upside down as a child, and his response was to take me to the principals office and tell the principal, in my presence, I was “retarded”
(yes, using that actual word) and needed to be put in the classes for “dumb kids” (again, those were the words he used), I should have known all was not right. Red flag.
When I was locked in my room, after school, during my junior year in high school, was made to eat all meals alone, and had to use that time to complete Greek word studies then write reports on Greek words and have them graded in sit down sessions with my
stepmother, because she had deemed me “rebellious”, and my dad just went along with this plan...I should have known all was not right. Red flag.
When, just days after I graduated high school, my dad decided to hit the road in his converted bus, to build his church bigger, and never once told me I would not be going along, but instead just dumped me at my oldest siblings house, before my eighteenth birthday...I should have known all was not right. Red flag.
When my dad called me months later telling me God wanted me in Santa Cruz, to help him start his church there and ordered me to leave my job in Klamath Falls and move, I moved. I did not know it would be impossible to find a job in Santa Cruz. I did not know that, soon after I moved, his effort to start meetings in Santa Cruz would be completely abandoned, overnight, due to a quite serious impropriety on his part. I won’t be specific on that impropriety, but it was enough that he was asked to leave the area. Both meetings abruptly ended, he packed up the bus within days and moved out of the state to the Apex airport in Bremerton. He paid for the other couple's move he had invited down but I was told to stay behind in Santa Cruz with no job, no money and an eviction notice on my trailer door. This should have been a huge clue that all was not right, but I was still a kid and I “soldiered on” thinking I had to obey my “father in the lord”, as he called himself. I was to “keep the unity”, even if that caused me great hardship. Red flags.
When I finally found a job at a restaurant, but it was shut down weeks later by order of the health department, and I could not find work again, I called my dad, begging for help. I was told no help would be provided and I would need to "just grow up and find my own way". I should have know then all was not right. Red flag.
When I called my dad again, about a week before I was to be evicted, I was begrudgingly told if I could “find my own way to Bremerton” he would then “help me”. Until then, no help would be on the way. I begged money from people in the trailer park and, when I got together enough money for gas and food, just two days before I was to be evicted from my trailer space, I left to Bremerton. Upon arriving, my trailer was given away after I was lied to I would be paid for it’s “sale”. My dad instead kept the money, leaving me completely broke again and the trailer was turned into a goat shed the next day. I was told to sleep in an old rat infested bus that sat on the airport property instead. It was cruel, but the kind woman, Elizabeth Walker, who owned the private airport, heard about the plan, intervened, and gave me a bed in her home. It was very clear my dad was not pleased I had found a way to “move back home” and I truly believe he expected I would not be able to find my way out of Santa Cruz. I should have known all was not well. Red flags.
The next morning, after arriving at the Apex Airport, I was told by my dad and stepmother, “God wants you to marry because we don’t think you are growing up fast enough”. I was told I would only be offered further assistance if I married who "God chose for me". If I did not marry her I would be considered “out of the will of God” and would need to hit the streets, all on my own again. I admit to being very gullible at the time, but arranged marriages were a common occurrence in the ABC so this was not completely out of the usual. I was unemployed, had no stable residence, there was a major recession, jobs were scarce-especially for someone with barely a high school diploma-and I was pretty much stuck because I had no money, no job, no food, no trailer and I had no place to go. With two tearful pleading sessions I begged not to have to marry but my dad was insistent it was the “will of God” and I must “obey my father in the lord”. All of this should have been huge red flags but I “soldiered on” to “maintain the unity” and “obey my father in the Lord”. Really, at this point in life I was very young, just trying to survive and I was grabbing whatever safety net I could.
As a side note here, I have been accused by some of marrying because it is alleged I "got her pregnant and we had to marry". This is not even possibly true. I lived in Santa Cruz, CA, she lived in Lynnwood WA. When science advances to the point pregnancy is possible through the mail then accuse away, but until then... Truth is, she did not want to marry me as much as I did not want to marry her. We didn't know each other and she was quite vocal I was not a person she would ever choose to marry. She was barely seventeen and she too had been given the same line about “the will of God” we marry. We were "married" within two weeks of my arriving at the airport and the delay happened only because her father was out of town. He showed up and tried to stop the "marriage" but to no avail.
When my new “wife” left, soon after our “marriage”, to live at her dad’s apartment in Bellevue, I was told I must leave the Apex Airport, find her in Bellevue where she was now staying, and live with her since we were now "married". There was a distinct pattern emerging that my dad was doing anything to stop the scandal he caused so he could continue building his church; even to the point of forcing me to remain in this unwanted marriage. A man named Tom, from the ABC, helped me go look for her. We found the address where she was staying. Her dad had returned to his extended bike trip, for several months, so had offered to let her live in his apartment while he was gone. I arrived at the front door, unexpected, which made her furious. She allowed me to sleep on the couch that night, then the next morning she left to live with a couple in Edmonds WA who had previously left the ABC and started their own “Jesus People-like” church near Paine Field. Red flag.
Through much “counseling” and spiritual duress we were brought back together again. Our nearly immediate separation, after our "marriage", was creating considerable scandal in the church. My dad worked hard to persuade us we could not split up, telling us again it was “God’s will we be together”. We held it together for nine years, and there were a few slightly good years, but there were very few periods during that nine years of “marriage” she remained faithful to the “marriage”. I eventually brought my mountain of evidence of this infidelity to my dad since she did nothing to hide it. My thinking was I needed his, and his church's permission to divorce. I pleaded with him to allow me to divorce but was told repeatedly “you need to learn to love her for the person she’ll become, not the person she is today”. I had been made an elder in his church, at age twenty-one, so divorce, which he claimed was not scriptural, despite his own secret divorce, would have created even more scandal. I was told it could not be sought and I was expected to “maintain the image” and obey my “father in the Lord”. Naive? Yes, very much so. I missed another red flag and “soldiered on”.
After my divorce I received a flurry of condemnation letters from people telling me I was now "out of God's will" and in a "sin of the soul". Some of these same people would then later divorce as well. Hypocrisy and red Flags.
For years I had been taught the Catholic Church was Mystery Babylon, the “Mother of Harlots”, who rides on seven hills; and all of the mainstream churches were her “daughters”. The ABC, I was taught, was different since we had no buildings. We therefore did not ride "tax free" on the back of the government and we were therefore not part of Mystery Babylon; we were not one of those daughters. After my dad incorporated the ABC, for tax purposes, then started the “Mexican Ministry”, he decided we would now dress like Catholic priests whenever we entered Mexico to teach. The Mexican people began to kiss our rings, as though we were Catholic priests, and I was not comfortable with this at all. This ran counter to all of the previous teaching I had been taught. I refused, at first, to go along with the plan but my dad got very upset with me, claimed once again he was my “father in the lord”, even though I was now very much an adult. He commanded me to buy the uniform. When I still refused, I came home a few days later to find the uniform hanging on my front door knob with a note. I wore it a few times, under duress, but was then labeled as “rebellious”. Red flag.
I took one of my kids to my dad’s house for a few hours of babysitting. I was in a bind and had nowhere else to take her. I would not normally have left a child with my stepmother. When I arrived back I found her tied hand and foot with a paper bag over her head, crying, nose to a wall. She was five and had been standing, nose to the wall like that for hours. I removed the restraints from her hands and feet, took the bag off her head then headed for the front door with her. My stepmother met me at the door, refusing to allow us to exit, stating her “discipline” to remove her “rebellion” was not yet complete and she could not leave until she said it was done. She insisted once a child crossed her threshold they were her child, not mine, so I could not take her home until she gave permission. She insisted I too was a child and must obey her like a child when in her house. I said, "Oh, no, she's not"; then left anyhow, with my child in tow. I was once again charged with the “sin” of being “rebellious”. It was only weeks later I was disowned. Red flag.
When my dad asked me to help smuggle goods for the Tijuana shop owners across the border; so they could avoid paying duty and sell their goods cheaper to the Los Angeles market thus undercut all of the other sellers; I would not participate. It was totally illegal and I had the real fear my car would be impounded by the border police, or worse. I was once again labeled “rebellious”. Red flag.
I was invited to a meeting only to discover a couple was to be ambushed that night. When the ambush occurred, I knew the things being leveled against them were not true and spoke in their defense. My dad and step-mother called me a liar then, after the ambush was over, took me out to their van and told me they knew what I had said was true but “God didn’t want that revealed yet”. I had broken one of the invisible commands, to remain quiet and just go along, so I became marked again as rebellious. Red flag.
I could list many, many, many more pages of similar instances just like this where I was labeled as “rebellious” in San Diego. There are too many red flags to possibly list from this San Diego era and there is no reason to give a complete list. If one reads these few examples, with an open mind, they can see things were not right. For those who tell me to “just go along, even if it’s not fair”, and “do what they say to maintain the unity” or to "protect the babes", I did that for many years already. It was abusive. If a few men come to me, saying they have the power to eternally judge and condemn my soul, forever and ever and ever, I will indeed rebel against this false “authority” forever and ever and ever.
The San Diego era ended when my dad called an ambush meeting to confront my multiple “rebellions”, and that of a few others as well. When I asked to speak to him privately that night,
about a quite serious personal matter, he refused and instead ran out the door in anger, drove his van across the lawn in a rage, leaving deep furrows in the grass, then sent a teen girl to my door the next day to tell me I was disowned
and he never wanted to see me again. He wanted anything back that “belonged to the body”. I never saw him again after that day, by his choice. He would visit others near my home but, just as when he had slammed me
against that wall on San Juan Island, at age twelve, then abandoned my mom and I to the streets, he had no desire to ever contact me again and didn’t. Huge red flag.
When my dad died suddenly in a Mexican restaurant, no one from the ABC called me, since my dad had disowned me and I had been ex-communicated. I learned of his death through my older sibling and flew to San Diego for the funeral. I discovered his disowning reached beyond the grave by way of David North and Gilbert Larson who tried to bar me from attending his funeral. They were operating on instructions my dad left, prior to his death. It was his final slamming me against the wall and act of abandonment. Another red flag.
After my father’s death, my stepmother tried to take over the church. Gilbert Larson wrestled the power and control away from her and Gilbert remains in power to this day. My stepmother then began
her own “ministry” and started sending me letters seeking support for her cause. When I did not respond, or send money, she repeatedly sent a man named Robert to my door to intimidate me into submission. On a few occasions
he showed up to my door drunk and, on one occasion, even tried to strike me. All at the behest of my step-mother, who wanted the reins of the church back and wanted me to help her get them. At this point I was refusing to have anything
more to do with her, or the ABC and had finally realized all those red flags I previously ignored, over so many years, were a warning. I had no intention of ever returning. Red flags.
BROWNIE POINTS
I skip forward now to the point when Gilbert Larson showed up at my house, lied about how the ABC was sorry for the way I had been treated, and asked if I would return to the ABC in peace. He stated they "needed me", although it was not defined how they "needed me" or why. This too was a bit of subterfuge. If a person leaves, or even if they are at some point thrust out, there is an imperative to "get them back into the body". It is perceived this will look good for a person if they can entice a previous member back in and they will have ABC "brownie points" for the recovery.
I had, prior to this visit by Gilbert Larson discovered he had not only assumed the reins of the church but also assumed my father’s name and likeness, postmortem, and was republishing my dad's book as if my dad were still alive. He had printed on the back of this republished book my father's name and picture but Gilbert gave his own mailing address. I could only assume he was then answering back in my father’s name, in an attempt to give my dad some sort of immortal status. I found this reprehensible and fraudulent. To be honest, I did not fully trust Gilbert Larson when he showed up at my house, but he spoke meekly and sincerely and seemed convincing that things would this time be different. I hesitantly returned to the ABC then learned later what was being presented to others is that I had “repented of my rebellions” and had “come back into fellowship”. This was not true. My previous speaking out against the injustices, lies and deceits, for so many years, was not rebellion, just the truth.
I returned to the ABC, acting in good faith on the things told to me by Gilbert Larson when he visited my home. I was believing things had actually changed. I believed then, with my dad and stepmother no longer in charge, the abuses had ended. I soon discovered the red flags were all still there. Some began to warn me I was still not trusted but, once again, I “soldiered on” thinking things would someday change. In psychology that's called "cognitive dissonance"; when we go against our own peace and safety and explain away and rationalize the abuse. I realize now these abusive practices are just baked into the ABC cake and are inseparable from the whole. There have always been periods of turmoil and annihilation, followed by periods of false calm and peace, which are then followed by another cycle of upset and destruction. It has been cycling that way for five decades. Red flags.
I jump forward now to the Vancouver era. A big red flag went up in Vancouver the weekend Gilbert Larson came to town and I was asked to teach. This should have seemed unusual to me, but I didn’t pick up on the clue that I was being tested that night. I taught the lesson at the Saturday meeting and, afterward, Gilbert Larson dragged me into a hallway, expressed disagreement with a few points I made in my teaching, then gave me what I assumed was a compliment. He stated “you teach just like your dad”. I smiled and said “thank you” but his face dropped and he stated matter of fact; “That wasn’t a compliment, Scott. Stop it! “Teach like yourself! You have no right to teach like your dad!” That should have been a huge red flag. It should have clued me in to what was to come but, I had formed new friendships in Vancouver and did not want those friendships destroyed so I stayed silent and returned to “keeping the peace”. I carry fifty percent of my dad’s DNA. For many years, as a teen, I was with him as he went from area to area, night after night, teaching the same teaching, over and over, until I could practically quote his teaching in my sleep. My dad would regularly ask me to research facts for him for his teachings and he would include this information I dredged up in his teaching notes. Perhaps those things could be why I was “teaching like my dad”. Maybe. Probably. But why is that even a problem? It’s just plain weird that would even be an issue. Red flag.
I WAS WARNED
After moving to Vancouver, I was warned a number of times I now lived in “Bruce’s area” and needed to do things “Bruce’s way”. I was told
if I did not do things “Bruce’s way” he would eventually make sure I paid a price for my “insubordination”. It was a huge red flag, but I ignored it and soldiered on, to “keep the peace”.
I did not understand Bruce saw me as his "employee". I did not understand the vicious depths to which he would sink if he felt his “authority” was threatened. That final action against me, at the ambush, when I was “eternally judged” to be a “blasphemer”,
and the subsequent harassment by his followers, can only be described as his depraved method of punishing my "insubordination".
The tests by Bruce Leonard started small at first. Such as the day I first visited his house and he asked me to play a game of chess. I expressed I had not played in at least ten years, but he insisted we play the game anyhow. I lost. After the game was done, Bruce looked at me with a disgusted look and stated, “I always thought you were a smart person”, then stood up and walked away as if I were no longer worthy of his time. I had not realized that chess game was actually a test of my intelligence. Chess is just not my thing but no matter how smart the player, every single game has a loser. It is not a measure of inferior intelligence to lose a chess game. But, this was not the first time I would be tested to see if I measured up to Bruce Leonard’s expectations for “his area”. Red flag.
Another test came when I received a phone call from Bruce Leonard, telling me he was out of town and couldn’t get back for the meeting. He asked if I would teach at his house and I agreed. I showed up at his house that night, and there he was, sitting in a chair, in his house, not out of town like he had said. He was looking at me with a big Cheshire cat grin and had lied to me about being out of town. His goal was to see what clothes I would wear to teach. The slacks and polo shirt I wore were unacceptable and he insisted I come with him up to his bedroom where he made me change into some of his, too large for me, “business meeting clothes”, as he referred to them. I was schooled, while I changed clothes, that “God is a business” and if I was to teach in “his area” I must dress as “a businessman”. My own clothes were not "business-like" according to Bruce. After I put on his clothes he then allowed me to teach at his house. Red flag.
About a year after moving to Vancouver, my wife and I were in a major car accident that nearly took our lives. I had a double compound tib-fib fracture, burns on my leg and arm, multiple
other minor injuries and was on heavy pain medications for an extended period. I was completely immobile after leaving the hospital so Bruce and Debbie Leonard insisted I give them a key to our house, so they could “help”
if we ever needed it. Bruce began using this key to enter my home at will and without knocking. The first time he used the key, a day or two after leaving the hospital, he moved my computer to the side table next to the chair I was unable to leave without a two-person assist. He then put the keyboard in my lap, told me God put me in the accident because I had not been studying enough, postulated I now had plenty of time to study, so I better get busy. This, after recently telling
me when Gilbert Larson was sideswiped by a semi-truck on his way to Seattle, it was Satan hindering him from doing God’s work. For Gilbert Larson, an accident was Satan hindering him, for me, it was God punishing
me. Hmmm... Red Flag!
Just days later, Bruce Leonard dropped off “assignments” for me to work on for a book he was putting together. I didn’t work on his book since I was still on heavy pain medications and slept most of the day. Using the house key, he would repeatedly enter my home to harass me, telling me I wasn’t working fast enough on his book. After a considerable number of weeks listening to this harassment I finally had enough and called him a “bully”. His response was to leave my house, then sent someone to drag me over to his house for a verbal walloping. I was unable to walk or drive and he held me captive at his house while he shouted at me and made strange demands I did not understand. I asked repeatedly to be taken home, but he would not allow me to leave unless I first said what he wanted to hear. I have no idea to this day what he wanted me to say. I told him repeatedly, “Bruce, just tell me what you want me to say and I’ll say it so I can go home”. He would not tell me and instead interpreted this as being “stubborn” and "idolatrous". Bruce, at one point, became so heated the person who drove me to his house intervened on my behalf, told him to stop, then eventually drove me home. This was only after a considerable length of time had passed. I “kept the peace” that day, and did nothing when I seriously should have called the police. Red flag.
Breaking sessions are when one, two or more cult members and leaders
attack the character of another person, sometimes for hours on end. Some
cults will not stop these sessions until their victim is crying
uncontrollably. https://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html
Bruce Leonard insisted I return to teaching, not long after the accident, when I was still on pain medications. I told him I was not ready to teach because my mind was scrambled from the pain medications. He became enraged, told me I was creating my own confusion then stated to me “no man who puts his hand to the plow and turns back is fit for the Kingdom of God.” He then asked me, “are you fit for the kingdom of God, Scott?” Red flag.
Bruce Leonard treated me at all times as an "employee" of "his area" rather than an equal. Let me interject that I was not then or ever a paid employee of the ABC. Bruce petitioned me repeatedly to help him become paid by the ABC. He wanted the status of being an "apostle" because he started the Vancouver area. He also wanted reimbursement for his mileage to meetings as well. I would not be an advocate for this plan and this made him mad. He began to interfere regularly in my personal life. One example is when I took my child to the doctor in the middle of the night. When Bruce found out I had done this he felt this showed a lack of faith on my part, stating I should have just laid my hands on her again and prayed more. Taking her to the doctor, he stated, showed I "didn't trust God enough". About three weeks later, his daughter also became sick with a high fever and he too rushed her to the emergency room at the hospital. He also forgot that Gilbert Larson sought medical treatment for thyroid cancer and Legionnaires disease and my dad had quite invasive open heart surgery by doctors. These men were held to an alternate standard and it was hypocrisy. Red Flag.
Bruce was also quite adamant my career position with the federal government was "ungodly" because God wants us to "work with our hands" and my desk job was not "working with my hands". He boasted he worked in a warehouse and therefore he was "godly" and "worked with his hands". He made these types of comments to me repeatedly, insinuating I was not "in God's will". Red flags.
I could go on for many many more pages about similar instances in Vancouver, but my point is this; those who tell me I should just return to the ABC, accept whatever is thrown my way, without defending myself, and just "do what they say" do not understand the level of depravity I have seen dished out to others, and experienced myself, over many years. I use my personal examples because that is what I experienced personally and can speak about directly but similar things have happened to many more than just myself. Those who tell me to "just live with it" do not understand the amount of “just put up and shut up to keep the unity and protect the babes” I have experienced in my life. I have personally walked that path for many years and it always ends badly. If someone can honor, and condone, this type of abusive treatment from the leadership, I don’t think I’m the one with the problem. Those who feel I should just keep this abusive treatment secret only help perpetuate the problem and this will allow many others to be abused in this same manner.
THINGS ARE BETTER
Those who say "things are better now" are not seeing a true view of what lies beneath. I have heard that phrase repeated by many for many decades as a cover for the previous abuses. During the times of peace there is always the perception "things have gotten better". It's just a facade. The abuse cycles between good times and bad. Someday another bad cycle will present itself.
JUSTICE, MERCY AND FAITHFULNESS
The weightier matters of the law are justice,
mercy and faithfulness. The ABC, and the leaders noted here, seem grossly deficient in all three. To defend these actions is wrong. To state perhaps they were all just younger then, and needed to learn a better way, is not a reasonable excuse for following their ego into a destructive path.
Secondly, the judgment placed on me by the ABC was ETERNAL. That’s a long long long time. Any return would be met forever with the same mistrust I already experienced and would eventually end with the exact same scenario of being accused of some sort of "rebellion" or "blasphemy". Why would I put myself through that again? At this last event I did not follow lockstep with what I was told to do by the man who considered himself my "boss" so he got even. I did not help him become an apostle, did not advocate to get him paid and when the opportunity arrived; when a person became offended by my answer to a question asked; Bruce Leonard seized that moment to have me eternally put away. I assure you, I won’t ever trust these people again. They have proven themselves to be false accusers and liars. I won’t believe their lies. They will point to this as proof of my "stubbornness and rebellion", and use this as their defense, but their actions are not defensible.
Thirdly, for those who feel it is wrong for me to expose these gross injustices over so many years, but have no problem with the ABC leaders passing life altering “eternal judgments” followed by months of harassment, on me, or anyone else, in such a violent and demeaning manner, you are just wrong. Sorry. You’re just wrong. God is just and kind. These are unjust men, taken with their egos, inflicting severe emotional and spiritual distress on unsuspecting individuals. When they have completely beaten a person down they then point to the pain this person suffers as "proof they are in sin". It is spiritual abuse by bullying and disgusting behavior. I, and a lot of others, have turned a lot of cheeks and they’re quite raw.
ANGER
Lastly, there are those who feel I am just angry. Anger is a God-given emotion and, of course, I have some anger about these injustices. Anyone would. It cost me huge financially. It cost me many "friendships". In the gospels, Jesus became angry with those who meted out injustice, or felt they were the intermediary between God and man. Angry to the point of flipping over their money tables where they sold access to sacrifices at an inflated price and pursued filthy lucre. They too, like these leaders, were robbers and thieves.
I offer no apology for being angry about
how I was treated over so many years. I offer no apology for telling just a tiny fraction of my story as example of the abuses dished out by the ABC. I assure you I have much much more story I could tell but I see no reason to write a "tell all". The very little I have told should be enough to show there is a serious problem with the doctrines of the ABC. I assure you, I have witnessed much greater abuses than written here.
I didn’t sign up to be an “elder” in my dad’s church. I was drafted into the position by my dad, a self-appointed “apostle”, when I was just twenty-one. When I was handed that piece of paper, “ordaining” me, I handed it right back to him and told him I did not want to be an elder in his church. He insisted so I took it and stuffed it away. When people asked, I always stated I did not see myself as an "elder". I was awarded it as a result of being "Rays Son."
So, let’s just call my small amount of anger the same thing my dad called it whenever he got mad at me; “Righteous indignation”. I can honestly say the hurt I feel far outweighs any bit of anger I have.
Righteous indignation is typically a reactive emotion of anger over perceived mistreatment, insult, or malice of another. It is akin to what is called the sense of injustice. In some Christian doctrines, righteous anger is considered the only form of anger which is not sinful, e.g., when Jesus drove the money lenders out of the temple (Matthew 21). Wikipedia
Since the day my dad made me an “elder” in his church I have been held to an impossible standard. The myth people saw as my father is based on a series of falsehoods and lies he used to start this new church. A visit to my main site will show the study methods used were not original and were assumed from Derek Prince, James Watt and the Broadway Tabernacle in Seattle. I have the facts and evidence to prove that statement.
No man can measure up to a charismatic myth based on a series of secrets and falsehoods. My dad could be very charismatic. He was professionally trained in seminary to be charismatic. He spoke to me often about the training he received in charismatic manipulation techniques taught in seminary. He performed the role well. But that is not the man I knew at home.
MAN OF GOD
There are many, like Gilbert Larson, who worshiped my father as a “man of God”, but a “man of God” cares for and nurtures his family first before trying to nurture others. My father was not that man. Bruce Leonard told me repeatedly you can tell a man of God by looking at his children; intimating my children were not perfect enough to qualify me as a man of God. First, I never claimed that title, so I wasn't too worried about it. Second, somehow my father got an exemption on that rule. My father always felt his children were second to religion and building his church and the results clearly show this is true. I was the last one left that would have anything to do with him, or his church, and I have now been "eternally judged" and condemned as a "blasphemer". Perhaps those throwing these stones, and using this as their yardstick, should look into my father's track record on child rearing and see how he measured up.
I knew the man driven
to excesses who was willing to discard his entire family to pursue building his church. I spent years trying to measure up to the myth of Ramon A Haas, but only found myself disowned three times while he was alive. First, on San Juan island, second, when I was persuaded to quit my job, move to Santa Cruz then left behind with no job and no money. Then lastly when my father left in a rage and sent a teen girl to my house with the message I had been permanently disowned. Actually, I was abandoned four times when you consider he left instructions I was not to attend his funeral.
I returned to my father's church after his death, based on lies told to me by Gilbert Larson, the Apostle, only to find myself scarlet letter labeled as rebellious and finally eternally condemned as a "blasphemer". This by men taken with their egos. To those who remain in the ABC, and read this; Are these really the actions of “men of God”? Seriously. Look at the facts and decide this with an open heart and mind.
The final blow came the day of the ambush when I was “eternally judged” and people were then set upon me to rip and tear my life apart. I vowed I would never return, and will not. After some time I realized I needed to make sure, to the best of my ability, the ABC could not
do this same thing to more people; thus this website. So, I ask those who feel my anger is unfounded; wouldn’t you perhaps be a little angry if you were falsely accused then tormented? Even to the point a slanderous phone call was made to your doctor's office and you nearly lost everything to stop the harassment? If you had to sell your house, leave your career job, abandon your pension, and move where people could not find you in order to hide from the people accusing and harassing you, "in the name of God". Wouldn't that make you perhaps a little angry? I think
you would be angry too. But, I know how it works. These leaders point and say "See, look at the bad things that happened to him. He must be guilty." But it is their actions that orchestrated this scenario. This is not, in any way, seeking to edify and build up, but is instead seeking to kill and destroy. I am certain they have "turned me over to Satan" like they have done to so many others. This is their usual practice in order to make a person look really bad. But is this really their role?
For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this:“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
There is much more I could say about my days growing up and living in the ABC, but this site is not intended as a “tell all”. I have no real desire
to publicly dive into that mud pile completely. Some of it is much more painful. If someone can’t understand my point of view, from what few things I have written, they never will. I was in the ABC long enough to know most just go along with what the leaders instruct and say. Most have no ability to think critically and just follow along blindly, even if it is wrong. I know this is true because I did that very thing, for many years.
We must learn from history, and it’s outcomes, so we don't repeat it. We shouldn’t keep the ABC history of abuses hidden to cover up for these egotistical overlords. That just leads to even more destruction down the road. I present my history on this site as example of what is not right in the ABC. I have no other story to tell but my own. The leaders describe this as "sour grapes" to diminish my story. They interpret this as a "spiritual problem" so my words are negated. I tell my story because things have never been right in the ABC, from the very beginning! Things will never be right because the structure is built on power, control and secrecy. I hope this site acts as a deterrent to anyone joining themselves to the ABC and I hope it prevents others from experiencing this type of spiritual abuse at their hands. That is my goal and not a seeking of sympathy.
SPIRITUAL GASLIGHTING
These abuses of the ABC are masked by spiritual gaslighting. In politics that is called deflect, pivot and blame. This is what the leadership does to cover for their abuses. Spiritual gaslighting is the manipulation of a person with the goal of causing them to question the validity of their own thoughts, reality or memories. The goal of gaslighting is to erode the person's confidence, cause them to feel confused, then deplete their spiritual, emotional or mental stability. The ultimate goal is to create a dependency of that person on the perpetrator, rather than on the truth of the facts. The ABC leaders are "spiritual gaslighters” driven by ego. They do not like to be called out for their tactics so try to cast blame on those who speak up. To not speak up is to cover up and this just puts others in the future in harms way.
Here is a short list of how a spiritual gaslighter operates:
1. They will blatantly lie to your face to “protect the body”.
2. They will try to make you doubt your own reality by declaring your feelings are a result of a "soul sin" or some other spiritual deficiency.
3. They will dismiss your feelings as being ungodly.
4. They will never truly apologize and will point the blame to being your “sin” instead.
5. They will make you feel like you just didn’t study enough, pray enough, tithe enough...
6. They will discredit you to others and destroy friendships in order to shut you up.
7. They will make you feel like you are just overreacting when they are spiritually abusive.
8. They will tear you away from friends, families, supports to isolate you.
9. They will try to make you feel spiritually inferior by alleging only they, the leaders, are the "anointed" and cannot be spoken against.
10. They will try to make you distrust yourself when you finally open your eyes to the years of spiritual abuse.
The end points are this. Trust God and don't put your trust in any man. They will fail you. Even Jesus, when pressed, pointed to God and stated everything he spoke was not his own, but were the words of my only father; God. If you are reading this, and still remain in the ABC, please keep this in mind. All it took was one accusation, by one person, to lead to the final ambush by the leadership where I was not allowed to defend myself. I was forever condemned as "rebellious", and a "blasphemer". After the ambush, a series of phone calls were made to all those I know in the ABC and, overnight, I was labeled forever and ever. If it happens to you, you will lose every "friend" you have in the ABC. Then will begin the harassment by the confused, but usually well meaning, "friends" as they try to figure out how you "fell so quickly". Your life will turn upside down. It may not seem possible to you today, but I assure you, this is baked into the ABC cake and can happen to anyone at any time. Be warned.
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